paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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