he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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