Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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