tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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