I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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