Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
