the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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