You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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