if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I wear drunk well.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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