Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
