he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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