??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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