Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's shark week go big or go home
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize