Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
