Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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