No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
