i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
