He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was not drunk enough for that final.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize