So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
