hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
