you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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