You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
