READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
