It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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