Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
