Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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