Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
