I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
