My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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