So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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