yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i out mim tonsoeep
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