Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
