The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
