I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
