She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
