Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
