didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
