There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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