i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
