she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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