Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
