sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize