This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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