the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
