Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
