Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
