have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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