Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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