I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
