Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
