I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
