Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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