So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
