u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
