gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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