that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
