did you get engaged???
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
